nerdology.org

Whoever invented the remote control for commodities such as televisions, DVD players, VCRs, and sound systems should be hung (not hanged) with a rope just loose enough so that he or she only almost suffocates over a pile of hot coals just a few degrees below the threshold of human stamina. This person has not only introduced a disgusting new level of lethargy and mediocrity (“Where’s the remote? I’m going to hunt around this room to find that blasted remote instead of simply getting up and using the channel changer! Stupid remote…”), but has also inconvenienced the world at large. It makes perfect sense to put all of the needed buttons on the appliance in question, correct? Why take them off the box and put them on a smaller box all for the sake of not having to stand up, walk three feet, and press a button? What if the batteries go out or the remote is lost? Most or all of the needed functions will become impossible to perform without that blasted remote. I’ve spent half of my life searching for my surround sound remote simply because I want to turn the bass up or for the DVD remote simply because I want to be able to cycle through the stupid menu. I’ve tried to use the DVD player downstairs less and less because I’d rather watch it on Windows Media Center where all controls are available with mouse and keyboard, or, if you’re feeling lazy, a computer remote.

Lesson to manufacturers: so as to avoid your future World Emperor treating you unkindly, put the necessary buttons on the box. Include a remote if you deem it worthy, but I think it wiser to allow for a universal remote dongle to be added later at the sole discretion of the consumer.

If only more media products were like desktop PCs, the world would be a much better place.