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Sid: Kill it!

Soul: *looks right and left* Where?! Where?!

Sid: -points to a seemingly empty chair- There!

Soul: *jumps into the chair and breaks it*

Sid: -large “Oof!” sound heard from chair and footsteps running away- You let him get away!

Soul: *gets up from the floor, rubbing rump* Ouch… sorry. I didn’t think he’d be that big.

Sid: -sighs- Well, we have time to get the…weapon now.

Soul: The…? OH! The weapon! *winks conspicuously and obviously* THAT!

Sid: -shies away in disgust- Right… -looks up suspiciously at Soul- Where’d you put the key?

Soul: Right– ah… *pats the dozens of different pockets placed vicariously around coat, shirt, and pants* *mumbles* …I swear I had it here the other day…

Sid: I’d knew it! I bet he took it.

Soul: *pauses on the shoulder pockets* Oooh, noooooooo! The keys to my account in Zurich were on that keyring.

Sid: -stares at Soul, flabbergasted- Mine. Too. -runs down the stairs in a rage- I’ll KILL HIM!

Soul: *stands for a moment with hand over mouth, afraid of what might happen to Him* *suddenly flies against the wall, hit by some invisible force* *raises up slightly and groans* Oohhh…. StickyKeys…

Sid: -sudden silence from Sid, and then he continues up the stairs- I know you’re here, Sticky! Come out or I’ll splatter ye!

Soul: *pulls out keyboard and removes both Shift buttons* HA! *a scream is heard from a corner of the room*

Sid: He’s powerless now!

Soul: Take THAT, Sticky!

Sid: Brilliant! -Sid is thrown through the wall by a invisible force- -groans- CapsLock…

Soul: *scrambles to remove the Caps Lock button, but the keyboard is suddenly kicked from grasp* Oh, cra– *is suddenly thrown bodily against the ceiling and pinned there*

Sid: -voice starts to count “7…8…9…4…5…6…1…2…3…0…7…8..”- NumLock. All that’s left is ScrollLock… -attempts to get up-

Soul: *struggling to move, but can’t except for head*  *gives up* Ah, I’m stuck. But wait!! *glances at the fan switch on the wall*

Sid: -Sid is stopped by a keyboard which flies through his stomach- -as the keyboard goes through, Sid presses the “Shift” key without the actual key and CapsLock appears for about a second- There he is… -falls to knees-

Soul: *collects three gallons of spit and compresses it in mouth* *spits it at the fan switch* *the fan turns on and smacks CapsLock away; falls from the ceiling to the floor* *wrenches the keyboard out of Sid’s stomach and rips off the bloody CapsLock key*

Sid: -Sid collapses as NumLock jumps from the window to kill Soul- -NumLock attempts to ram a remote through Soul’s head but is stopped by an invisible force about an inch from his head-

Soul: *looks about, trying to find what the new invisible force is*

Sid: -Sid slowly holds up his bloodied hand and lets his fingers fall open to reveal the NumLock key, smashed in his palm- -NumLock falls to the floor, defeated-

Soul: Now… now all that’s left is Scroll Lock… *suddenly window flies open*

Sid: -bloodcurdling scream echoes through building-

Soul: *Scroll Lock falls to the ground, in pain, but not defeated* *Pause and Break continue to bludgeon him* Hurry! Rip out Scroll Lock!

Sid: -Sid lunges for the keyboard- -tears out key with teeth-

The epic continues…

Next time!

(Gus Gus, who plays Sid, had to leave)