By Jordan Spencer Cunningham on July 14, 2010.
Sid: I’m not invisible. I am a germ. A rare disease.
Soul: And I suppose you’re going to infect me?
Sid: I don’t have to. I’m like an advanced version of anthrax. Soul Ripper. I pull your soul out through your face and force feed it to you, after which I force you to blow chunks. Your soul is then harvested and inserted into a small cup for growth into a Kuhnzeetid.
Soul: Wow… I’m in awe. What a process.
Sid: You should be, Soul. It’s new. From Einstein himself. See, when you killed me, he kicked me out and gave his latest weapons to wreak havoc on the earth. So here I am. After all, I am SID.
Soul: Stupidly Incredible Disease?
Sid: Sneeze Inducing Disease, actually.
Soul: Well, I am SOUL. Sinless Orangutan Under Legs… *trips you* ha ha ha ha.
Sid: You can’t trip a germ.
Soul: I can trip a germ. I just did. Sid.
Sid: Ha. As if. And that’s SID to you, Soul.
Soul: Huff. I ought to sue you for everything Microsoft is worth… I would sue you for everything you’re worth, but you’re not worth much more than a sneeze… hence your name.
Sid: I induce sneeze in others, actually. I’m worth over 9 billion in research, if you must know, and I’ve killed at leaset $75 worth of materials and minerals in human beings thus far. And that’s only the beginnin. g.
Soul: You can’t even finish sentences completely. How do you expect me to believe all of that? Besides, even if that IS true, only your research is worth over nine billion. You’re not worth even your weight in aluminum.
Sid: That’s because I’m a germ. You can’t really measure my weight accurately.
Soul: Unless we go to the year 2176 when Peter A. Kauffman invents the Accu-Weight. It measures weight using advanced Nuclear Gearworx (R) Technology.
Sid: But we’re only in the 2050s. And besides, I have ventral sacs that allow me to warp my weight and fly.
Soul: We’ll use microscopic needles and pop those sacs. Then you’ll be sorry.
Sid: You can’t. They’re reinforced with carbon-fiber, diamond, and telesucosinelectroflytes.
Soul: Fine. You Kevlar-Bug. We’ll find a way to squash you yet.
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