By Jordan Spencer Cunningham on July 14, 2010.
Soul: *nods* Sid. *walking past with hands in trenchoat pockets*
Sid: *stops abruptly, looking forward at the dirty street sign several yards ahead* *begins to drool*
Soul: *shuffles backwards and gets in front of Sid, blocking his view of the grimy street sign* Would you like to buy a watch? *pulling trenchcoat open to show several dozen watches*
Sid: *shoves Soul violently out of the way* *points avidly*
Soul: *looks up at the street sign* *tries to read* T… To… Sss… Ssooo… Sow… South… To South Hampton… South Hampton Rreee… Ref… Refuse… Refuse! To South Hampton Refuse Pit! *smiling with yellowed crooked teeth and jumping up and down and pointing at the sign*
Sid: *grins evilly at Soul* *begins to slide crowbar from trenchcoat*
Soul: *blinks at the crowbar* *shakes my head* No.
Sid: *nods, spittle flying as he speaks religiously* Yes…
Soul: *frowns* *shakes head and puts hands back in pockets and turns around to walk back down the dirty sidewalk*
Sid: *jumps violently after Soul brandishing crowbar menacingly* AGHHHHHHH!
Soul: *jerks head to glance at Sid flying through the air in a Japanese Anime stance, pulls out blow torch, and melts the grating he’s on top of so that he falls through into the underground of New York*
Sid: *crowbar falls where Soul was* *looks around confusedly* *marvels at the prowess of Soul’s blow torch work*
Soul: *giggles insanely as he falls through a seemingly bottomless pit*
Sid: *giggles creepily and jumps down hole after Soul*
Soul: *lands on a subway train passing under*
Sid: *falls on tracks, breaking legs after subway passes* *a distant subway car sounds somewhere and steadily gets louder* *Sid realizes the implications*
Soul: *looking back at Sid with pity as the subway train he’s on speeds away*
Sid: *begins to scramble away* *phails* (with a “p-h”)
Soul: *pulls grappling hook from trenchcoat pocket, puts it in a mini-grapple-hook-shooter, and shoots it past Sid* *the hook gets stuck in the track, pulling Soul off of his subway car*
Sid: *Sid sees Soul off the car* *giggles maniacally and pulls revolver from coat*
Soul: *looks up and sees Sid wielding the revolver in the dim red subway worklight* *hangs head down and shakes it once again as the approaching subway train’s lights come into view*
Sid: *attempts to fire* *revolver backfires* *bullet flies and hits subway’s power source* *subway blows up*
Soul: *stands up and brushes himself off as a flaming fireball careens down the tunnel*
Sid: *objects begin to swirl away as virtual reality game shuts down* *streches*
Soul: *yawns*
Sid: Well, Soul, that was fun.
Soul: Gee, that was a good one.
Sid: Died that time, though.
Soul: Yeah. Better luck next time. Hopefully we can pass the New York level soon.
Sid: Yeah. I keep getting intoxicated with insanity… Maybe there’s a sorceress we need to take care of in Manhattan. Anyway. See ya, Soul. *bows extravagantly*
Soul: I think I read about a Magician’s Guild hidden beneath the subways near Central Park. Maybe we have to raid that.
Sid: Ah, yes. Cecil Tarnish must lead them. But I’m not Level 68 yet… We’ll see.
Soul: Yeah. I need to go collect all of the Alkimer Crystals. Anyway, *taking off virtual reality suit and hanging it on the blank wall* I’ll see you around.
Sid: *looks around to see if anyone’s looking* *shoves suit in pack while waving and running* See ya, Soul.
Soul: *going to an Apple Beer vending machine in the corner* Bye bye.
The virtual grate in virtual New York that Soul virtually jumps down.
A grate. If your kids are bad, tell them they have to go down the “Grate Slide.” Not the great slide. The grate slide.








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