By Jordan Spencer Cunningham on July 15, 2010.
So many people keep on beating the dead horse that’s painted yellow and has “LIFE SUCKS” written in big, bold letters all over it. To these people I send a large box via UPS that contains a generous amount of packing peanuts and, deep in the bottom, a miniature black device with a mere red button of mysterious nature protruding stylishly from its surface. Upon pressing said button, these people will find that the black device speaks in English, French, Danish, and Esperanto the words “YOUR ATTITUDE SUCKS. GET A NEW ONE. HAVE A NICE DAY. 
” After speaking the smiley (yes, it speaks the smiley), it self-destructs in a puff of purple smoke, leaving magical rainbow dust that makes reindeer and Julie Dogs fly.
No comments just yet
Have something to say?
By submitting a comment here you grant nerdology.org a perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution. Inappropriate or irrelevant comments will be removed at an admin's discretion.